Strategies
Most conflicts arise out of communication difficulties so here are some starters:
- Understand that conflict is normal and neutral, the choice you make in how you respond to it will determine if the conflict is perceived at negative or positive.
- Slow down your response time, take a deep breath and let it out (it will give you time to think). Make sure you understand the concern before trying to respond to it. Notice I said respond not react. Reaction is a response that does not engage your conscious brain in the process.
- Get more information by asking open ended questions
- Help me understand what you mean when you say….
- Tell me more about what you are thinking.
- Ask the question “what has changed?” if you used to get along.
- Express your dissatisfaction with a situation by referring to how you feel rather than accusing the other party.
- I feel (happy, sad, angry etc) when (describe the situation) because (the why part).
- Acknowledge how the other person is feeling without passing judgment or excusing the emotion(I can see that you feel….)
- Paraphrase what the other person has said and then ask if you got it right.